


Agent of Entropy

by yersifanel



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:10:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3451754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yersifanel/pseuds/yersifanel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In all due honesty, this was not the life Connor would have chosen. However, he took advantage of what the world threw at him, detaching from everything and everyone, selling himself as the most expensive date someone could get, one you pay with shiny gifts and secrets.</p><p>He was fine living this way, focused and detached… until he met Oliver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language; I apologize for any errors you may find.
> 
> Edit: Thanks to Hannah for being awesome and help me out with the revision of the story!

With all honesty, this was not how he planned to live his life.

One might say that Connor's life was interesting, to a certain point. And in some aspects, it was, he was not going to deny that. But in the other hand... well, selling secrets was one thing... selling himself to get such secrets, was another.

"Red or white?"

Connor blinked a couple of times, looking from the tablecloth to the man besides him, showing his best dashing smile to cover the slip of attention.

"Red, please."

The man smiled, making a signal to the sommelier and Connor narrowed his eyes, playing close attention to the fancy restaurant he had been taken to.

There was a bright side of all this, he thought. Most Escorts ended up in a cheap motel and cold take out, and he was in a beautiful restaurant, eating a dish with a fancy name for meat and vegetables. He took the cup and sipped his wine, looking at his "date" as he was the only thing that matter in the world, he knew his performance was convincing when the other man smiled in satisfaction, resuming his talk about his day, and the Company where he was a major associate.

It was a good dinner, but the real show came afterwards, when the man held his hand and guided him through the halls of an extravagant hotel to a suite where their privacy was to be kept.

"You are so pretty..." the man was half drunk and Connor wasn't, so he his sighed with a smile on his face and straddle the man's lap, kissing him slowly, pretending it mattered.

"How do you want this?" he asked between kisses and the man smiled against his lips, Connor felt him already strain on his pants.

"Take off your clothes, give me a show... then spread that pretty body of yours on the bed..."

"Hmmm, sexy..."

He stood before him, taking off his clothes slowly, deliberately making the drunken man want more of the sight, turning and tossing the items in a pile before crawling on the bed and spreading his legs. The man smiled at the sight, touching and tasting like he was his owner... and in a sense, he was, at least for that night.

Connor could pretend and he did so like a pro.

Each moan, every sigh and whimper was calculated, planned and carried in the perfect way, in the exact moment.

When it was over, he felt strangely satisfied. The sex itself had been fine, the man had focus on his own pleasure of course, but Connor didn't mind, now that his patron for the night was in a deep slumber is when the fun part of his job began.

It took no effort to get out of bed, taking the man's tablet from his brief case and going to the bathroom, where he used his own tablet to copy the data. Quick, simple and effective, once done Connor gave the tablet back and returned to bed with another set of secrets and sensitive information he could use.

Taking advantage of his situation was something he didn't feel sorry about… not anymore.

\----------

A few days later he was in the park, sipping his coffee and reading a book when someone sat beside him, he knew the man and he had worked with him many times before.

"Well, you did it again," there was amusement in his voice and Connor just rolled his eyes, "Feeling proud of yourself, hair gel?"

"Piss off Frank, I have better things to do than deal with you."

Frank eyed him critically, making him slightly uncomfortable, "You got more than you gave me, didn't you?"

"Of course, you just paid for part of it and that part I delivered," Connor closed his book and crossed his legs, smirking at Frank who couldn't help but chuckle, "Your boss won the case?"

"As expected."

"Good."

There was something about Annalise Keating that Connor couldn't help but admire. If life didn't love to screw with him, perhaps he wouldn't have dropped Law School, maybe he would've get into Professor Keating's class... perhaps, even his life style would be different.

But it wasn't.

He met Frank when he was at his lowest and the man had helped him out of pity, most likely. Whatever the case may be, Connor owed Frank and as soon as he was able to take care of himself, he repaired the man with information, very valuable information.

That's how it started, that strange partnership between them. Connor knew information was more valuable than people thought, now he was a living proof of it.

Things turned out better than he expected, but not as he planned. He never really saw the opportunity of becoming a Rent Boy, not really. He was looking for something else when that rich man approached him; the one that started it all. Connor was digging for a scandal for Frank, something he could sell to the other man to solve his debt but things turned out much differently than he’d expected.

_How much for a night with you?_ Asked the man at the luxurious bar.

_Way more than you can afford, sir_ had been Connor answer… it was a joke, but the other man didn't get the message and suddenly Connor was being paid expensive drinks, offer anything he wanted and taken to the most expensive hotel in downtown.

He got enough cash to live another week and the information he wanted. It was not how he planned to do things, close, but not exactly as it happened.

The second time was planned, because he needed the money and the man that wanted him for the night was not so bad. His third time was a recommendation from the second, and before he could take a step back, Connor became popular amount the circle of rich guys looking for a night away from their lives.

There was more to it than that of course. Connor took advantage of his new style of living; he got expensive gifs from his patrons and more dirty little secrets than any other person in such circle. Some he took under his sleeve, other he sold, becoming the silent bird of prey with a harmless disguise.

Frank found it funny, because of all things Connor could end up doing, selling secrets was perhaps the closest he could do to be what he once wanted. Too bad he could turn back now.

"You would have been a nice lawyer," Frank told him absentminded, "Or at least, I bet Annalise would have pick you as her intern."

"Perhaps…" Connor took an envelope from his coat and handed it to Frank, "I bet she would have been a hell of a teacher."

"You're not wrong."

This wasn't the life Connor wanted, but he had to make do with it.

\----------

The office was so busy, with noise all around, people coming and going, engrossed in their work while Connor is just there to look pretty. Oh, and for a photo session… yeah right.

"I thought his were done in studios," the comment was casual, as he sat on the chair, looking at the ceiling while wearing a gorgeous suite and the photographer did her job.

"We have the proper equipment for product photography here," she said absentminded, moving to change the lights, "This is an especial occasion, I don't do many model sessions lately."

"Glad I could help," he flashed her a smile and received one in return, although the moment was short lived, as his patron was coming back from whatever meeting caught him up, for the same reason Connor ended up as a spare model.

What caught his attention, however, was the guy trailing behind his patron; a handsome looking guy, with all but a tattoo with the word "Nerdy" on his forehead.

"Oliver!" the photographer said cheerfully as the newcomer handed her a laptop, "Thank you so much, I have all my recent sessions stored here."

"You really should get another external hard drive for backups," Oliver recommended, smiled sweetly at her.

Connor tilted his head to a side, wondering just who was this guy, almost missing his patron talking to him about their plans for tonight in the process. Connor looked up, blinked twice and dashed a smile to cover his slip.

Oliver was watching Connor while he was distracted with his patron and Connor couldn't even talk to the guy. Oliver left the room as soon as he came and Connor was left wondering about the IT guy that observed him so eagerly, yet with none of the lust others showed for him, at least not in plain sight.

"Who is he?" Conner asked to his patron, taking his tie in his hands to play with it, making his patron smile.

"He works in IT," the man said, "Not important."

Connor nodded, allowing the subject to be brush away, but that timid smile of the cute IT guy was not brushed away so easily from his mind.

\----------

His phone was ringing and Connor felt the need to toss it against the wall, but he knew the ring tone so the caller was not one he ignored just because he didn't want to wake up.

"What?" Conner answered in annoyance, getting Frank's amused chuckle as answer.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine!"

Connor grunted, burying his head on the pillow again and blindly punching the speaker button to leave the cellphone aside, "Just tell me what you want so I can hang up."

"You are all about business and no fun."

"Of course, because you are never fun," Connor countered. "Now get over with it."

Frank chuckled again and Connor felt the need to get up and drive to where he was just to punch him in the face, "Arthur Kaufman."

"What about him?" Frank was being cryptic, Connor never liked when Frank acted cryptically, it usually ended up messy for Connor.

"He was your sugar daddy recently, wasn't he?"

He could heard the noise in the background, Frank was in an open space, probably walking while talking with Connor over the phone, which was an odd sign, Frank usually kept their conversation in private.

The younger man rolled over, taking the phone and glaring at the screen, "Yeah…"

"Do you watch the news, shooting star?" Frank loved to use that nickname for him, for reasons beyond Connor's understand.

"Don't call me that."

"Answer the question," Frank said, unfazed by Connor's dislike of him, "Guess no… Were you aware that your last date was almost killed?" That woke him up; Connor switched the phone to manual, placing it against his ear, narrowing his eyes as he waited for Frank to continue. "Don't worry, your name has not even come up, apparently he had a mistress besides you."

"I'm not his mistress," Connor hissed, "I spend a few nights with him, couple at most, not even in the same month and that was it."

"I know, that's how you roll," the background noise was getting annoying, "But the mistress is being charged with attempted murder."

Now that call made more sense, of course Frank was not worried about him after all, "Oh, is she? I wonder who her attorney is…"

"Aren't you a smart one?" he could almost picture the other man's stupid smile, "Get to work, shoothing star."

\----------

"Maker's Manhattan… two cherries…"

Connor found the cute IT guy from Kaufman's Company in the bar and was pleasantly surprised that he remembered him, even if he was label as 'that model Anna was working with, right?' in his head. He kept the model story; it made things easier and the conversation flowed like a river after that.

He introduced himself with his real name, something he usually doesn't and got another name in return, Oliver, and he couldn't help but smile, feeling slightly weird that he didn't even have to pretend to do so.

"Thanks."

Connor tilted his head, linking his lips and watching Oliver in the eye, "Your coworkers seem to want a show… so just… said the word and we can start making out."

He said the words before his brain was able to properly register them, but he kept his smile and gallant posture as Oliver tripped over his own words.

"Ignore them… I just… I don't talk to guys at bars that often…" he smiled a lot and Connor found himself enjoying the night. Oliver was modest; he didn't think himself hot or cool, or interesting, only stating he worked in IT.

"Anna told me, she said you saved her life," that was true, the photographer was very grateful with Oliver for fixing her computer, "I think IT is very cool."

Connor was flirting, that much was obvious. The problem was that for a moment he forgot he was supposed to get something out of Oliver, so when the conversation reached the point when Connor asked him about the attempted murder, he didn't even mind that Oliver was reluctant to give him information.

When another guy passed by, flashing Connor a smile, he smiled back instinctively, but for Oliver that was an indication that Connor was going to walk away from him, so in an effort of keeping him close, Oliver offered him exactly what he wanted.

Hours later he got just what he wanted, information. Yet, that information Oliver gave him matter little to him, because he got something much better that night.

He got to spend the night with someone he actually liked.

It was strange, it also was something Connor was not used to, but he couldn't help but enjoy the moment in Oliver's company, because it was going to be just that: a moment.

That's why a few days later, when he found himself thinking about Oliver and smiling in the process, he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to Hannah for being awesome and beta-read this.

The area was quiet, free of any noise usually found in the city. At such hour of the morning only some birds were starting to chirp, the sky was coloring itself from orange and red to a soft pink and blue as the stars fade away in the morning light. 

"Do you like it?" 

Connor blinked slowly, watching the man he was spending the weekend with and nodded, still a bit awed with the beautiful image, he knew it was not going to last, though. They were not spending time in such place for the landscape, but because his patron of the moment was a hunter and didn't want to spend his weekend alone, so after a call, Connor was there as his date. 

Max St. Vincent was a client he had the pleasure – or displeasure, he wasn't sure – of seeing on several occasions. The man was discreet, contrary to his other patrons; he always took Connor out of the city, into his "solo trips" away from his wife and his daughter. If Connor cared, he would feel uncomfortable with the fact that he was close to his daughter Eloise's age, but he really didn't. 

Connor stood by as Max prepared his rifle and set his eyes on his prize. The younger man could see the deer in the distance, unaware that its killer was close by, showing off his skills to his Escort, something Max loved to do and Connor had mixed feelings about. 

His sighed deeply, taking his eyes away from the deer in the distance and back to the sky, which was already turning a light shade of blue, with the sun just peeking out in the horizon. It was a cold morning and Connor shivered in the open air, only to be hugged from behind by Max. 

"I know you don't like hunting, you never say it, but I know…" he spoke to his ear and Connor leaned into him like he always did, because Max liked such display, always telling him how pretty he was, just about as pretty as my wife he would said, and Connor smiled in return feeling a bit hollow.

"It's the look in their eyes," Connor justified, "It just… I don't like the look in their eyes."

Max kissed him behind the ear, making him shiver. Connor turned around to fully kiss the older man, allowing him to take control and run his hands all over Connor's body. Max chuckled against his lips and stepped away, making Connor feel cold again. 

"I'll close its eyes this time, hmm?" 

"Okay..."

Connor watched him go to get back in concentration, and a precise shoot later, the deer was no more. He bit his bottom lip and forced a smile as Max looked at him, he even clapped his hands in the cold morning, with the echo of the shoot still ringing in his ears. 

Max took the carcass of the deer and closed its eyes, loading it in the truck and drove back to the cabin were they are spending the weekend. Connor was leaning against his shoulder in the truck, yawing as his lack of sleep began catching up with him and Max called him adorable. 

"H'm not..." he protests and gets conformable with his head cushioned on Max's leg. He knows the older man likes this show, because is nothing more than that, a show. Still, Connor goes along with it and Max enjoys his weekend. Connor is doing a great job, even if the feeling of Max's fingers running through his hair sends shivers down his spine for an entire different reason the older man thinks. 

Back in the cabin, he sucks Max off and afterwards – once he gets rid of the musky taste on his tongue – pretends to be interested in the talk of how beautiful and talented Eloise is and how Marjorie is a great wife, although a bit boring from time to time. 

"But you compensate for that, and we can call it even," Max validates and Connor rises and eyebrow, lazily staring at him.

He wonders if he has told his daughter these things or not, because Max is a very strange man, one that has enough character range to scare Connor, but at the same time keep him close. Max seems to want this little affair with him, but also be devoted to his family. 

Devoted... but not fully devoted. If he was, then Connor wouldn't be on the bed, moaning and whimpering as Max fingers him open, kissing his jaw and licking his neck while murmuring words Connor doesn't bother to remember. If he was fully devoted to his wife, then he wouldn't be here, fucking Connor with something akin of hate. A strong feeling that reflects in the way he holds him down and scraps his teeth over his skin and leaves bruises on his hips.

Max apologizes afterwards, he always does. But the way he does it - with a grin on his face that makes Connor want to run away - completely ruins the intention for the younger man. 

Connor pretends to shrug it off, saying he doesn't mind a bit of rough sex. However, after Max has paid and asks what are Connor's plans for the end of the month, he lies and tells him he is going to be busy. Max shows him that creepy smile of his in return.

"Pity," he says, "Maybe the weekend after that?"

"Yeah…I think that one would do," he reluctantly replies and Connor already feels the phantom touch of soft hands delivering rough touches in his skin.

He really should stop taking requests from this man. 

\----------

"Wait here, I got something for you."

They are back in town and Connor just wants to leave, but Max took him to his house, parking in the garage and making Connor feel uncomfortable enough to show it.

"Your wife is here," he says and Max rolls his eyes with a little laugh.

"She's getting ready for bed, don't worry."

Connor isn't happy but Max still leaves him there and Connor paces around the driveway with his hands on his pockets and the annoyance showing firmly on his face. After several minutes he decided he had enough and he was going to take a cab home. 

He crossed the driveway and walked around the front yard when something shiny caught his attention. Walking slowly he got close enough to see it: a hunting knife covered in blood. 

He stood there, frozen for a moment, just staring at the bloody knife before his brain kicked in and he all but ran back to the house.

"Max?" he called a little louder, walking from the garage to the house, "Max?"

"Oh, Adrien... come here, will you?" 

He almost forgot his alias for a moment, but he took a deep breath and followed Max's voice until he found him at the door frame of the master bedroom, a box in his hand and a sad look on his face.

"Max, there's a—" Connor stopped in his tracks, staring at the bedroom where Marjorie St. Vincent lay dead in a blood bath. 

Well, that explained the hunting knife.

\----------

"This is the son of a friend, Adrien," Max is introducing him to Annalise Keating and her group and Connor has to hide his awe for the woman.

"Pleasure," he says convincing enough.

Annalise wants her students to see the scene of the crime and Connor just stands there with his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, trying to not look jealous of them.

"Adrien, do you mind?" 

He blinks a couple of times before realizing Max is asking him to help him recreate the prosecution’s theory. Connor pales a little as he moves, getting onto the bloody bed and does his best to pretend it doesn't bother him, even with Max hovering over him, or afterwards, when he asked one of the Annalise's students for his pen before using it as a simulated knife and "stabbing" Connor sixteen times across his chest and abdomen.

He is staring into Max's eyes, but the man is not there, he is not pretending to stab Connor, he is far away, counting as he simulates the slashes and Connor wants to scream for him to stop, but he doesn't.  
"Sixteen!" Max claims loudly and then gets off Connor.

"Or so that's the persecution's theory," Annalise sounds tired and Connor fells her, Max is enough of a creep to make this look almost fun for him, as if his wife had not been brutally murdered.

"Theory? Good luck proving that."

Connor lets his head fall on the pillows and forces himself not to tremble.

\----------

He is fidgeting with the box Max gave him when Frank comes to see him. The younger man is in the guest room of the St. Vincent house, looking slightly pale and more than ready to leave.

"He's not even mentioning you were with him," Frank crosses his arms over his chest, looking at Connor with patience.

"We have a non-disclosure agreement," Connor explains, "I don't like my name popping up every time the wife of one of these guys suspects them."

Frank looks pleased with this information, "At least you were smart enough for that."

Connor looks up and stares into Frank's eyes for a long moment, "He didn't do it."

"Well, that much it's clear," he agrees, "To bad his alibi is not going to help if your name doesn't come up as witness... so he's the primary suspect."

Connor looks uncomfortable, "I don't want to be involved."

"And he doesn't want to involve you, so..." Frank leans against the wall, frowning, "If you know he didn't do it, why do you look so tense?"

He stopped fidgeting with the box and sighed, opening to reveal a very expensive watch inside it, a beautiful black and silver Swiss Army, the same brand of the hunting knife. 

"I know he didn't do it," he beings, "...but I also know he could have."

\----------

A report from Switzerland arrives, digging up Max's past.

Eloise is crying, accusing her father of the murder of her mother and somewhere in the accusation mentions her stepmother as well.

Connor doesn't believe her, because that look in her face is not of grieve but rage.

He knows that look very well, because he had sported it himself.

\----------

He properly met Laurel Castillo when she literally cornered him outside the court room, if not for the fact that she looks ready to throw him into the witness stand, he would have like her a lot more.

"You were with him, weren't you?" she said, looking distressed, "Adrien Donovan, right?"

Well, at least she doesn't know his real name, "I wasn't," he says, "Do you mind? I have to go."

Laurel narrowed her eyes, holding onto the folder in her hands, "He's protecting you... and if you are involved in this, they will know."

Connor lifted his chin, clicking his tongue, "Nice approach, but incorrect," he smiled at her, "If you are trying to introduce a new suspect, I'm not the one."

"I'm not—"

"Do you honestly think I would like to be scrubbing blood from under my fingernails?" Connor hissed, "God, that was so messy... watching him hunt is less bloody."

Something in her face lighted up and she smiled, as if Connor had just enlightened her. She bit her bottom lip and looked pleasantly satisfied with herself.

"He is a hunter," Laurel said and Connor made a 'duh' motion. "He knows how to kill."

He was taken aback, blinking as Laurel just stood there, smiling.

\----------

In the end, Max is declared not guilty and Connor knows all he did was to protect Eloise, because he knew, almost from the start, that she was the one that killed Marjorie to frame him in revenge for killing her mother.

Connor declines his invitation to celebrate, but doesn't have the courage to tell him to not hurt Eloise.

He really hopes not to see another St. Vincent die anytime soon.

\----------

The Chinese menu looks fine, but Connor doesn't feel like eating and wonders why he came in the first place.

"Can I switch you a martini for a Spring roll?" asks a voice behind him and Connor turns around to stare into Oliver's eyes, "I know it's not the same but... well... maybe..."

Oliver looks slightly flustered, as if the courage he gather in order to speak with Connor faded as quickly as it came and Connor couldn't help but chuckle, because this man confused him, but he also made Connor feel good and that was just what he needed.

"Can I get a fried wonton instead?" he asks. Oliver looks surprised for a moment and nods in return.

"Of course... do you want to eat here or...?"

"Your place," Connor quickly says and walks to take Oliver's arm in his, a warm feeling starting to form in his chest as he looked at him hopefully, "With a movie?"

Oliver lets out that little laugh of his, slowly taking a comfortable grip of Connor's arm, "That's… yeah, that sounds perfect."

\----------

They made out on the couch while the movie is starting and he ends up over Oliver, his head on the other man's chest. He feels a warm feeling he us not used to and for a moment he wants to run, but Oliver's arms around him secure him for the moment. He takes a cushion for Connor, who places it on Oliver's chest and lays on it, closing his eyes and feeling… well, good. 

Connor is watching the movie, feeling relaxed and when Oliver start running his fingers across his hair, he can't help but tense as a memory come backs to haunt him. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll just…" Oliver is stumbling over his words and Connor frowns, planting his hands firmly over Oliver's sides and not allowing the other man to get up.

"My neck tickles," he says as an excuse and giggles, it feels real and Oliver relaxes again, resuming the moment. Connor closes his eyes, relaxing under Oliver's touch, feeling it so different from Max's… this one he liked. 

He feels safe so safe he falls asleep and wakes up in the middle of the night, not knowing where he was. He gets up so fast he falls to the floor and the person with him turns on the light. Connor looks like a spooked animal and Oliver is frowning down at him.

"Connor?"

He looks around and suddenly remembers the dinner and the movie, the warm feeling in his chest and Oliver's fingers across his hair. He blinks several times and swallows, working on an excuse and finds himself speaking before thinking.

"I… didn't know where I was… I got scared," he is telling the truth, but Connor cannot understand why he is doing so. Lying comes easy to him, not caring even more, but not he is on the floor, looking ashamed of himself as Oliver sighs. 

Oliver helps him up and they sat on the couch, Connor hugs his legs against his chest and closes his eyes while Oliver is observing him. 

"Did someone hurt you, Connor?" he finally asks and that was not what Connor was expecting at all.

"Sorry?"

Oliver is looking at him with concern, "You get tense when I touch you and there are bruises over your hips… you tried to hide your wince when we were making out, but I noticed…"

"I… no, I…" he bits his bottom lip and for the first time in a very long time doesn't know what to say, "No one did anything I didn't allow."

Oliver's expression is blank, but there is no calm in it. After a long moment he exhales deeply and nods his head, standing up to walk towards the bedroom, "Are you coming?"

Connor looks over the door and then back to where Oliver is, brushes away his fear and follows him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah was awesome and beta-read this so, cheers!
> 
> Also, thank you very much for all your comments and kudos!

There's an ID with the name 'Adrien Donovan' in Connor's wallet, and it's not the only trace of that identity he has. Adrien is not just a name; he is a mask Connor uses to protect himself from the world, someone that would hurt others before he could get hurt, and someone that can stand the pain. But his crafted identity only could protect him so much. 'Adrien' couldn't protect him from bad decisions and their consequences, nor from life messing up with him.

He was still carving his image as 'Adrien' when he met Rebecca Sutter.

It had been an awful night for several reasons, amongst them was that the drunken guy he was making out with while trying to get some cash instead of paying him tried to steal what little money he had. 

Connor fought with everything he had, but he was not entirely well – still week from lack of proper food and rest – so when the guy punched him, it landed so hard he saw stars. He was on the floor of the dirty alleyway when Rebecca passed by, just before the guy ripped Connor's shirt open.

"If you continue, I'll scream so loud the entire police station will hear," her tone was firm, not even fazed by the drunken man.

"Oh, really?" he walked towards her and Connor got on his feet to stop him, only to get punch in the stomach and stumbled against a wall, "I'll deal with ya latter, pretty boy!"

The man turned around, just to get a face full of pepper spray from Rebecca's part. He screamed and trashed, tripping on the garbage cans nearby and falling into a pile of trash bags.

"Come on!" Rebecca took his hand and they ran across the street, over alleys and narrowed passages until the drunken guy was left behind. 

They came to a stop on the side of a building, Connor holding his middle while a trail of blood ran down his chin. Rebecca had her hands on her knees breathing as harshly as him, both nearly out of breath after the sprint.

"Hey..." Connor leaned against the wall, looking over her savior and felt that perhaps the world was not so rotten after all, "Thank you."

Rebecca rolled her eyes in annoyance, but there as a tiny smile on her face when she spoke, "Don't mention it."

\----------

Time went by and a friendship emerged between them. 

One night, they were talking on the roof of Rebecca's apartment building, eating Mexican take out and pretending they didn't have a shitty night.

"Please tell me you spit in his drink," Connor asked seriously and Rebecca tossed him a tortilla chip.

"No, but I did serve him a terrible vodka and charged him the expensive one, and of course I kept the difference," she speaks as if that was the most normal thing to do and Connor can't argue with that, "What about you?"

He shrugs, glaring at his avocado as if it was at fault for his night, "Food was good, drinks were just passable, the sex was awful."

Rebecca makes a face Connor doesn't know how to read, "Did you get paid?"

"Of course."

"Well, at least there's that..." she doesn't look happy, though. She didn't judge him, but Connor knew she is didn’t really approve of his life style. She kept telling him he's better than that, but the conversation stops when Connor asks what else he could do, so eventually they stopped talking about it.

Rebecca's phone rings and Connor raises an eyebrow, wondering who is calling her this late - or early, depending on how you see it.

"Client?" he asks and Rebecca shocks her head.

"Not exactly," she answers and talk for a few minutes and Connor realizes she is setting a deal with another girl to provide material for her to sell. After the call, she hangs up, "This sorority girl wants to have a trill, selling this stuff... she's ok, her name is Lila."

He frowns, "A Sorority girl who wants a trill?"

"Hey! Don't judge, I helped you out knowing shit about you and you turned out to be ok," she counters, "And I don't judge you about the stupid things you do."

He raises his hands with a little laugh as she mockingly glares at him, "Ok, ok, you have an excelled judge of character, I get it."

She punches him in the arm with a smile in her face and Connor feels a little less hollow.

\----------

Oliver really likes the way Connor smiles. When he does it, there's a sparkle in his eyes and Oliver's brain cannot think of anything but him, even when the rational, intelligent part of his mind knows this boy is more than he says, and not in a good way.

The first thing Oliver did after meeting Connor was, of course, looks for pictures of him in the internet, after all he said he was a model, but he couldn't find any.

The second thing he did, and perhaps should have been the first, was ask Anna, the photographer, about him.

"His name is Adrien," she explained, "I've never seen him before, Mr. Kaufman brought him over."

Oliver did a bit of illegal search and found that 'Adrien Donovan' was a contact not only for CEO of the Company but for 3 of the Board members as well.

He felt uncomfortable, digging Connor's information like this. He was obsessing over this boy and he knew it was not good, but at the same time he couldn't just let it go.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered to a sleeping Connor, before taking his laptop and searching again.

He didn't even know where to begin, so he went with the basics. Looking for Connor Walsh and finding out he does exist and was in fact sleeping in his bed right now was a very good start. Oliver realized Connor gave him his real name and Oliver felt bad about hacking for answers, he felt bad enough to stop.

Sometime after that, Connor stirred in the bed, slowly opening his eyes and finding Oliver at the foot of the bed, looking distressed.

"Oliver?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, I just... I had to know..." he lamely said, turning the hem of his t-shirt anxiously, "Anna said your name was Adrien... and… I'm sorry. I really had to know…"

Connor felt his heart racing and he sat up on the bed, keeping his blank expression, but his mind was in turmoil, "What did you do?"

"I..." he ran a hand over his head, "I dug up for information about you."

"How much?" he asked with no feeling in his voice, but in reality he was anything but calm.

"Not much..." he sighed, his expression upset. The anger Connor was expecting to feel never came, he was not even disappointed, it was strange, "I stopped when I found out Connor is indeed your real name."

He shouldn't care, he should get up and walk away but... he didn't want to. He felt sad, not because Oliver was digging for information about him but because he liked Oliver and he was afraid that if he knew the truth about him, Oliver would be disgusted with him.

"You won't like me," he said firmly, like an ultimatum, and Oliver frowned in confusion.

"Pardon me?"

"If you know more about me... you won't like me," he mumbled, "I'm... not a good person Oliver... it’s just..." 

Connor got up and started to pick up his things, but Oliver stopped him and guided them both to sit on the bed.

"You can't be sure of that, Connor..." he soothed, "Don't shut me out, please?"

The younger man looked so tired, as if the sole idea of this conversation was already draining him. Oliver did the best thing he could, he hugged him. Connor didn't tense this time, he practically melted in his arms with a heavy sigh. 

This gorgeous boy with the dashing smile and spark in his eyes was going to be the end of him... Oliver just hoped it was worth it.

\----------

He met Wes Gibbins in possibly the worse moment in history: when Rebecca told him Lila was dead. 

They were in the hall of Rebecca's apartment building; she was so distressed she couldn't even fit the keys in the door to open it.

"Hey, let me—"

"Back off!" 

Rebecca had the terrible habit of being a bitch when she was distressed and if not for the fact that Connor knew her very well, he would have walked out on her.

"Stop, stop, stop! Give me the keys Becca," he took her wrist and then the keys while Rebecca glared at him, "What?"

"She is dead, Lila is dead," she hissed with tears in her eyes, "Dead!"

Connor managed to get the door open, even if his hands were trembling and he couldn't stop picturing Lila in his head, smiling like the silly girl she used to be and now dead, with glassy eyes and skin white.

"Adrien?" he vaguely remember the voice but the memory came back just as Wes was climbing up the stairs, carrying his bicycle, "You know each other?"

"Obviously," Rebecca composed herself seconds, but she was still being insufferable, Connor almost rolled his eyes.

"Oh," Wes looked from Rebecca to Connor and frowned, Connor was almost sure he heard them talking about Lila, "I've seen the police around lately...You do know you shouldn't talk to the police without a lawyer, right?"

"Yes, and you are not a lawyer," Rebecca took Connor's wrist and practically shoved him into the apartment, not sparing another second for the young law student, closing the door behind them.

"He was worried about you," Connor pointed out.

"I don't care."

Connor stood there for a moment, just looking at his friend. After a long moment he moved closer and wrapped her in his arms. Rebecca trembled for a moment, hiding her face in Connor's shoulder.

"She was my friend..." Rebecca whispered and Connor held her closer, "She was my friend... and now she's dead."

"I'm sorry Becca..."

\----------

Once Rebecca was able to sleep, he snuck out of the apartment. Wes was outside, observing him critically.

"You need something?" he hissed, not wanting to make a scene and wake Rebecca up.

"How come you know Rebecca?" Wes asked and Connor was unimpressed by his investigation method, too direct.

"Do I own you an account of my acquaintances? No." Connor simply said.

Wes looked flustered for a moment, "It's not... I'm just worried, I saw a guy fighting with her the other day. It’s just—"

"Hey," Connor interrupted, "She doesn't like people stalking her, the last guy that lived here used to do the same, it was creepy."

"I'm not stalking... you know what, forget it, I just wanted to see if she was ok."

Wes lifted his hands in defeat and Connor relaxed a little, "Look, it's not personal, neither was with the guy living here before you, she's just a private person."

"She plays music absurdly loud at 2:00 AM."

"That's her way of saying 'Back OFF, I'm in a mood', kind of obvious, really," he shrugged, "Look, you are not so bad Gibbins, she may even like you at some point, just... don't stalk her."

"I'm not stalki— you remember me?"

Connor raised an eyebrow, "The St. Vincent case."

"Yeah, I just... you didn't even bother to look at me," Wes pointed out.

"I had other things in my mind."

"Sure," he nodded, "With the case and all..."

"Not to mention your friend wanting to throw me in the witness stand to make me a suspect, excuse me if I was not paying you attention."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Wes was trying to be nice, just to have a conversation. Connor couldn't help but to be a little fond of him, as he was awkward but seemed nice.

Connor made a face, watching Wes from head to toe and back, "Can I ask you something?"

Wes hesitated for a second, before nodding, "Sure."

Connor took a card from his pocket and gave it to Wes, "If something comes up, call me please."

It's a plain white card with the name 'Adrien D.' and a number; Wes frowned but nodded anyway and with that Connor left.

\----------

Oliver likes to explore Connor's body in every sense possible. He does it with his eyes and maps it with his fingertips and his lips. He likes the way Connor sighs while he does it, with a little smile on his lips and his eyes lazily closed.

He thinks his gestures are a bit too cheesy at times, too hopelessly romantic, but Connor smiles at him with that sparkly in his eyes, kissing his lips in reassurance.

"You have no idea how good you make me feel," he tells Oliver, whispering in the dark and kisses him again, with passions pouring in every action he takes.

He is so responsive and enjoys Oliver's pleasure as it was his own; sometimes Oliver can't believe Connor is real.

What Oliver didn't know was that the reason Connor got so into their intimacy was because Oliver made Connor feel for real, because with him it was truth and as a result Connor felt safe. 

This was the first time in a very long time that Connor felt something real for someone and as such as he liked Oliver, he was also terrified of him.

So he held onto Oliver with mixed feelings of fondness and fear and ignored the voice in his head telling him to run away before it was too late... before his heart was shattered again.

"Something wrong?" Oliver asked, feeling Connor shaking in his embrace.

"No, no... 'm fine," mumbled Connor against Oliver's neck, "Thanks Oliver."

"For what?" Oliver was smiling and the fearful voice in Connor's head subsided.

"Just...for being yourself."

\----------

A few years ago he found a young man in a bar, a Rent Boy, who he would later now as Connor or as his alias, Adrien. 

Frank, to this day, calls him Shooting Star. 

He looked thin and tired and perhaps even high, Frank wasn't sure. He observed the young man talk with his 'client', who happened to be the same man Frank was following, and by the end of the night, the Rent Boy left the bar with a pocket full of cash and a manic grin on his face.

Frank kept the face of the younger man in mind and he was glad he did so, because a few days later he found him again, being beaten by the man he was following.

"You damn whore, what did you do with it?!" the man took Connor by the hair and threw him so hard against the wall even Frank winced.

The younger man spit blood and tried to get away from the other, only to be kicked in the back of the head and onto the floor.

There was blood on Connor's face and his features were locked in a pained expression. When the other man came closer, Frank was sure he was going to kill him.

"Ok, that's enough."

He moved fast, too fast for the other to see and a precise blow to the head later, the man was unconscious on the floor.

Connor open one eye, for the other was swollen shut, and clumsily crawled away from him, "W-What do y-you w-want...?"

"A 'thank you' would be nice," Frank folded his arms against his chest, watching the younger man trying to collect himself, "And also, that thumb drive you stole from him."

He remained on his knees, one hand against the wall to support himself, eying Frank suspiciously.

"The thumb drive," he repeated and Frank simply nodded.

"You should have copied it instead of stealing it, then he wouldn't have notice it was missing." it was a rookie's mistake, Frank felt entailed to point it out. Connor stared at him in disbelief, it was almost comical, at least for Frank, "Look, I'll pay you for it, ok?"

He offered his hand to Connor and was very patient when he didn't immediately take it. In the end, Connor accepted his offer and an alliance was formed between them.

Frank liked Connor, but he liked what he could obtain from him even more, because if he didn't then he wouldn't have walked him through becoming the most expensive Escort slash Secret seller in Frank's contact list.

He never said he was a good person.

\----------

Connor is watching Oliver sleep when he gets Frank's call. Quietly he makes his way out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, where he could talk without waking Oliver.

"Yeah?"

"I have a job for you," Frank's voice was steady and calm, he was confident Connor could do whatever he was going to ask of him.

Connor closed his eyes, "What is it?"

"One of Annalise's clients is being framed for fraud," he explained, "Most likely from the inside, we need proves of this, because the woman won't listen and the culprits most be caught before this goes public."

He thought of Oliver in the next room and tried to put the image of Adrien on himself to make things easier, because this was what he did and he couldn't turn back now.

"I'll see what I can do."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah was awesome again and helped me out with the revision of this chapter. Thanks!

Connor got a call from Wes Gibbins just when he was about to leave Oliver's apartment.

"You can't find her?" Connor asked with a frown on his face, pursing his lips in a gesture that Oliver thought was adorable but was not going to says so out loud, "She lives right next to you."

"That's the point," Wes said from the other line, "I waited for her to come back from work and she hasn't."

"Wes, what did we said about stalking?" Connor's tone was playful even if he was not being very patient with Wes.

"Ha, Ha, very funny," he could almost picture the pout in Wes' face, "I just wanted to tell her the police had been asking for her, that's... I'm worried, the other day I saw this guy, Griffin? He was fighting with her and now it turns out the Sorority girl that was found dead used to be his girlfriend."

Connor bit his lip, trying his best to not shout that Griffin was a jerk and Lila was too good for him.

"Yeah," he made an effort and kept his voice neutral, "I'll try to reach her as well."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

He ended the call, looking upset. Oliver noticed this right away, folding his arms over his chest, "Something's wrong?"

Connor looked up, blinking a few times to get out of his mind place, "Not sure... a friend of mine has gone under the radar, but she does that from time to time."

Oliver gave him a long, searching look, "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Connor frowned, looking at a lost, "Where did that come from?"

"Just wanted you to know that."

He nodded, still unsure what Oliver was thinking.

\----------

Marren Trudeau was an interesting person, Connor couldn't argue with that. The woman was sharp, cunning and so very loud, she was the kind of person who would get what she wants no matter what but still will keep a clean slate while doing it, and her Company was the product of constant hard work.

Because of these elements it was very odd that she was involved in a fraud case. At first glance, it seem she was the one at fault; after all she even had a porn video with the CEO of the company involved in the 'inside trading' incident. But when thinking about the whole thing, it was easy to see she was framed, Marren doesn't have the need of fraud to make her Company wrong.

Frank's information was straight forward: to get into involved with the Company's employees and get information. Annalise was sure the culprit was almost one of the company's employees, but Marren didn't want to even think her people capable of disloyalty.

Wouldn't that be nice, to have such full loyalty of the team you put together?

Somewhere along the way, a few sheep went astray, and now Marren was near a scandal that could ruin her.

It was a pity, she had such loyalty to her people and one of them back stabbed her. This case was doing nothing to help Connor's trust issues, but he had a work to do, but he wasn't exactly planning the way he ended up doing it.

"I'm not sure if this—"

"It's perfect dear, he will love you."

This had to be Frank's fault, it had to be. How else Marren Trudeau would end up with his number and called him to arrange a date with her PA? This surely made things easier for him, but still...

"So... his name is Paxton?"

"Pax for short, he is lovely" Marren said, "He's like a son to me."

 _A son you're gifting a night with an expensive hooker, what a nice mother,_ thought Connor without changing his calm expression, his smile not cracking for a second.

"I'm sure he is."

\----------

Paxton was not what Connor expected. If you kind-of-but-not-really mother arranges a date for her kind-of son, Connor expects a shy guy, instead he got a passionate, very flirty man that was a sigh for sore eyes. Add the taint of embarrassment on his cheeks and Connor felt that this deal wasn't so bad after all.

He looked at Connor with a grin on his face, "You're taking this very calmly, if you weren't I would probably feel even more embarrassed that I already am."

Paxton was younger than him, he was smart but still naive and really handsome. Connor wondered how he ended up as Marren's PA, or whatever he was to her. She did take the 'being like a son' very literally, including the embarrassment a mother would occasionally pin upon her children.

"Really?"

Connor's face was flushed and his clothes disarranged after his make out session with Paxton, who was currently yanking his shirt but Connor was subtly stopping him, he kept kissing him instead, pushing him against the photocopy machine.

"Yeah, I mean... I have no idea why my boss would set me up on a date," he curled his fingers in Connor's hair and sucked on his neck, making him shiver.

"She likes you," Connor closed his eyes and for some reason felt uncomfortable, "She thought you would like her gift... she said something about you being important to her, or something..."

Connor was taking the conversation along, just distracting Paxton while making out; he wasn't expecting the younger man to freeze in the spot.

"She said that?" There was a tremble in Paxton's voice and Connor's mind set to work immediately, there was something to catch right there.

"Yes," he smirked, "She was unsure of the Company's future… with the fraud thing going on... maybe she wanted to give you a pretty thing while she could..."

He grinned, "Well, you are indeed pretty..." the moment was short lived, his face crumbled again, "She's... she is a pain, I feel like I'll never do more than clean after her dog or... never mind."

Paxton's fingers curled in his hair again and the hold was firmer, maybe a bit angry, "Oh... she said you were so smart," a tug and Connor repressed a hiss, "Don't thing she likes having you besides her?"

"But I want to be more than her assistant," there was anger in the phrase and suddenly he was pushing Connor to the floor, "I deserve better."

"Hey!"

"Don't ruin the mood," He straddle him, rubbing his erection against Connor and it feel really good and entirely too wrong at the same time, "I wanna enjoy my gift."

"Departure gift, she's probably going to jail and lose her Company," Paxton bit down on his neck and Connor hissed his time, "Too bad."

"She will be fine, it's just insider trading."

Connor's heart was racing and he wondered why, this was nothing new to him, why it felt so wrong now?

"I just think if awful, that one of her own would do that, don't you think?" He closed his eyes and an involuntary moan left him when the younger man bit and sucked his neck again, "Like family abandoning you..." he hissed, "But for you… you don't have to worry, must be nice… to have someone who cares as she do…"

Paxton froze again, his eyes far away, "A betrayal..."

"Yeah, like that," Connor notice the younger man stopped moving and his breathing was becoming elaborated, "Pax?"

"Oh God..." He got up and fumbled with his clothes, "I didn't.... I mean, yes I did but I never... no, no, no, they told me she would be fine... I don't... she is not supposed to care about me!"

"They?" Connor sat up, narrowing his eyes.

Paxton looked mortified, he opened the door and Connor had to dash to catch up with him. They reached his desk and the man turned impossibly white when he saw Marren. He leaned against the window, breathing heavily.

"This... this was not supposed to happen," Connor narrowed his eyes; he could recognize a panic attack when he saw one.

"Pax, calm down, everything is going to be all right..."

"You don't know that!" He man covered his mouth after shrieking, looking ashamed, "I... I betrayed someone that cared for me, like those people, my so called family did... and that's terrible, I'm terrible," he whispered, "What was I thinking?"

Connor could see the tears in his eyes and he was too close to the window, so he moved when Paxton sat on the edge and quickly wrapped his arms around him when he was about to let himself go. Connor felt his stomach on his feet with the movement, he was going to fall along Paxton, but someone grabbed him from behind and pulled them both back into the building, making them tumbled onto the floor.

Paxton landed over him and Connor exhaled a breath he didn't he was holding. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a massive headache coming. He couldn't help but wonder if this is some sort of karma joke, because life surely loves to screw with him, otherwise he wouldn't be in the foot of 30 Floor Building's window with a young and naive junior Stock trader in a near catatonic state over him.

He barely registered Frank hovering over them or the fact that he was giving directions to the people around them.

"Pax?" he asked softly, taking the young man's face in his hands while the noise around them grew louder, "Pax, come on..."

People wanted to know what was going on, but Connor was not going to tell them, at least that was his mind set until Paxton's boss came running from the other side of the floor, almost pushing people aside.

"PAXTON!"

Connor flinched and Paxton made a wrecked noise, burring his face in Connor's wrinkled shirt, holding onto him like the man was his lifeline. For a moment, Connor honestly thought the woman was going to throw her shoe at them or something, but she kneeled besides him instead and Connor saw the concern in full bloom on her face. Her eyes moved from the sobbing mess that was Paxton towards the open window and she covered her mouth with her hand, putting two and two together.

"Somebody close that damn window!" she ordered and Paxton cringed at the voice again, "Oh dear... Pax, dear..."

"I'm sorry..."

Connor could feel Paxton's fingers digging into his skin, but he said nothing, even if his heart was racing and his head hurt too much, he could have walked away but he didn't. Instead, he held Paxton close, resting his chin on the younger man's head and waited for the ambulance that someone had surely call to come.

He didn't notice Annalise Keating and her team behind them.

\----------

The paramedic took his blood pressure, finding it unusually high, hence the reason for his headache. They gave him something to lower it a bit and recommended rest and an extensive checkup or something, Connor wasn't sure as he didn't pay them much attention. Paxton was taken to the hospital with a suicide attempt on his file, Marren went with him, even when he babbled how sorry he was for betraying her, Connor was sure she was angry but her concern for him was higher.

"You know, when you said you would see what you could do, I was expecting something a little bit subtle," Frank was looking at him with a strange expression on his face and Connor just rolled his eyes, and then pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"That wasn't exactly planned," he defended. "I don't enjoy people trying to kill themselves after talking to me, it gives the wrong impression."

Frank guided him to his car and offered him to drive him home but Connor gave him directions to another place instead, he was driving towards Oliver's home when his cell phone went off. He didn't recognize the number, so it was probably a client and he was feeling anxious about answering.

"Hello?"

"Why aren't you at your place? The neighbor is looking at me funny, I don't like it," Rebecca was talking faster than usual.

He made a face, "I wasn't aware you were coming," he covered the phone, looking at Frank with a pleading look on his face, mouthing 'my place, please?' receiving a glare in return but the man changed directions anyway, "Where have you been?"

"At the bar, then a dude's house but I came to the conclusion that I hate him and now I'm at the door of your place, with the neighbor's furry beast looking at me."

"It's a puppy," Connor pointed out, "A shihtzu puppy, it even has pink ribbons over the ears, and I know you like baby animals, stop pretending you don't want to cuddle the damn thing."

"You can't prove anything."

"I bet you have it on your lap right now," there was a tiny bark and Rebecca clicked her tongue.

"No evidence… Why aren't you here?"

"On my way, enjoy Pepper's company while I arrive," another tiny bark and Rebecca hummed before ending the call.

\----------

Frank dropped him in the building's entrance, Connor's apartment was in a fancier neighborhood than Rebecca's, but the place was still just a space, Connor didn't like it very much, not because it wasn't comfortable but for reasons he, to this day, had troubles to describe.

Maybe he just didn't like to admit it was lonely.

Rebecca was sitting on the floor before his front door, with a white and brown shihtzu puppy comfortable sitting on her lap. Connor raised an eyebrow and Miss Pepper barked, jumping from Rebecca's lap to run around Connor, he picked the puppy up while Rebecca got on her feet.

"Pepper?" she asked, blinking.

"Her owner wanted to call her Salt, I suggested otherwise," Connor opened the door and let Rebecca in, "Actually, her name is Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, a.k.a Pepper."

"...what?"

Connor let the dog down and she ran directly to his couch, jumping and curling over a cushion.

"Good Omens, the book?" he explained, "It's in the bookshelf if you want to read it."

"Where's her owner?"

"Probably working. She has a dog door, gets outside whenever she wants," He moved to the kitchen, whistling to call Pepper, the dog jumped off the couch and ran towards him, Connor had a dog bowl with water and food for her.

"You take care of her," Rebecca said as a fact and Connor shrugged.

"She was barking too much, I got annoyed, feeding her was easier than waiting for her to shut up."

"Excuses."

"Says the woman denying liking baby animals."

"I never said that."

Connor faced her, "What's going on, Becca?"

She sat on the couch, looking upset and was fidgeting too much. Connor walked over her and sat down on the couch besides her, waiting for her to gather her thoughts and speak up.

It took a few moments, but she looked at him in the eye and answered, "Griffin came over, I thought he was going to hit me, threw stuff around and blamed me for Lila’s death... Now he’s a suspect and I... I think he is going to blame me."

"But you didn't hurt Lila," Connor's voice was soft but his tone was firm.

"I did hurt her," Rebecca fisted her hans over her trousers, "Not physically, you know that... I broke her trust... I was trying to help and it went all wrong."

"That's not the same, Becca," Connor tilted his head, "You had a fight with her, but that doesn't make you her killer."

She looked angry at him suddenly, "You don't get it? They will believe Griffin over me, I'm a no one, I got a history of drug charges and I fought with Lila that night!"

He took her by the shoulders, "Rebecca, I was with you that night, I know you didn't do it."

"But you don't exist!" she shivered in a mixture of fear and anger, "You dropped off the radar a long time ago Adrien, or should I say Connor? You can't stand there and admit you own history to help me, I'm screw!"

"You don't know that..."

Connor's phone went off, the screen showed Oliver's name and picture and Rebecca narrowed her eyes at him, looking from the phone to Connor in confusion. He excused himself and went to the kitchen, dodging Pepper as he did so.

"Hi there handsome," Connor greeted and Oliver's quiet laugh was the best come back.

"Are you coming over tonight?" he asked and Connor bit his lower lip, looking over his shoulder at Rebecca, who was glaring at him.

"Yeah, just... I might be late."

"Oh, that's ok, I was contemplating finish some stuff at work anyway," Oliver was quick to answer, making Connor smile.

"I'll see you later, ok?"

"Later!"

Connor ended the call, Rebecca was smirking at him, "What?"

"That was not a client, you don't save your client's numbers with their real names least alone their picture," she picked Pepper up and walked up to him, "Oh my God! You are dating someone!"

"I'm n—!" He stopped midsentence, a blush spreading over his neck, "Fine, yes, I am."

"Doesn't mind you're a hooker?"

"He doesn't know..." He slowly shook his head and Rebecca's smirk fell.

The silence that follow was awkward and only Peppers little whine broke it.

"Well, that sucks."

"Tell me about it."

\----------

That night he arrived to Oliver's place looking calm, Rebecca was staying at his apartment and they would talk later. Oliver smiled upon seeing him letting him in.

"Busy day?" There was something odd in Oliver's voice when he asked.

"Not much," Connor dodged the question, letting the take away bags he brought with him over the table, "A friend of mine came over, she was having a bad day..." Oliver gave him a hard look, narrowing his eyes, "What?"

The older man lifted his hand, placing it over Connor's neck, his thump brushing over dark red and light purple skin. The way Paxton and his hard bites and the way he kissed his neck came back to him and Connor gaped at Oliver, who looked... sad.

"I... Oliver I don't—"

"Shut up."

Connor closed his mouth with an audible click. He tried to hold his gaze but Oliver was dodging his eyes, his thumb still brushing over the bruise on his neck, "Did someone set you up with me?"

"What?"

"My co-workers, perhaps?" his nails lightly scratched Connor's skin, "Or maybe you thought I was so desperate after those emails you decided to stay longer... is someone paying you?"

Oliver made a sharp noise while breathing, his fingers trembling and Connor felt dizzy, "Of course not, what are you talking—"

"There's a video of one of the owners of my work fucking you," He was even talking loud, in fact his voice was normal and that made Connor even more anxious, "His computer was a mess... made me fix it... and asked to be discreet, 'because everyone makes porno these day, right? It was an expensive date Hampton, but it was worth it', I think those were the exact words."

His hand fell, his eyes looking into Connor's with a feeling he couldn't describe. The younger man felt his breath caught in his throat, the world spinning.

"Oliver—"

"Perhaps you should leave," Oliver took a step away from him and Connor felt so cold he trembled.

There was a strange sound around and it took a moment for Connor to notice it was his own raged breathing colliding with the silence. He took his coat and turned to the door, his eyes red but he refused to cry.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and left.

Oliver stood there for a long moment, Connor's words running in his head, he walked to the door and banged his head lightly against it; a voice came back with a memory and a phrase.

_If you know more about me... you won't like me._

"Oh God, what have I done?"


	5. Chapter 5

His chest hurt. 

It was like having a thorn embedded in it, every time he breathes the pain becomes more real. He couldn't believe he let himself get attached to Oliver, not after everything he had been through. Still, no matter how much he would like to deny it, the thorn was real as so was his attachment to Oliver.

He laid in bed the whole day, jus staring at the wall while Rebecca hover over him with her particular brand of concern, she even brought over Pepper to lick his face and that made him smile for a moment. 

"Her owner is doing a poor job in taking care of her," Rebecca pointed out and the tiny fluff ball barked. 

"She works in a Restaurant, never has time for anything," Connor mumbled, "Hence the reason she doesn't find odd my schedule, hers is worse."

"Why did she get the dog then?"

"She didn't, it was a gift from someone... she looks after her, but doesn't have much time for the rest."

"You do that."

"Yeah..."

Rebecca was sitting on the bed besides him, playing with his hair while Pepper cuddled against his face, "Stop braiding my hair."

"Get up and take a shower."

"Don't wanna..."

"Then you are on mini braid number six," Connor groaned, burring his face in Pepper's fur; the dog licked his eyelashes and ended up taking a bite of his fringe to play with. "...You really like this guy, don't you?"

He didn't answer, but Rebecca could read his silence.

\----------

Connor met Lila Stangard when Rebecca dragged him along for a night in the roof of the Kappa Kappa Theta house.

They sat on a comforter that Lila had spread over the floor and to break the ice did a couple of coke lines. He usually didn't do drugs, because he prefers to be sober and alert when going out with someone, but this was an entirely different situation and a couple of white lines later, they were laughing together.

"You don't look like a Rent boy," Lila's voice was full of curiosity, she was being blunt but at the same time there was an edge of curiosity that moved something in him.

"That's the point," he said with a smirk, "If you look cheap, they pay you cheap and if there's something I'm not sweetie, is cheap."

Rebecca rolled her eyes, leaning towards him to mess up his hair. Connor huffed in indignation and that made Lila giggle.

She was a sweet girl and life had been easy for her, yet Connor knew this was just a thrill for her. She didn't judge him at the time, maybe that's why when she eventually did, it hurt at some level but didn’t surprised him.

Nothing about people surprised Connor anymore. 

\----------

They were having dinner when the police came to take Rebecca in as a suspect for Lila's murder.

She didn't scream or fight, all she did was stare at Connor with a broken gaze and he held her hand in silent reassurance before the police separated them.

That night, Connor screamed into a pillow until his throat was raw.

He could count the number of people he cared about with one hand... and life seemed to want to take them away from him.

It wasn't fair.

\----------

"Griffin O'Reilly?" Connor was staring at Frank, a deep frown on his face as he spoke. The older man was not paying much attention, his sandwich was more important.

"Yeah, the school wants Annalise to represent him," he said. 

They were near a park, nearby a Food Truck were Frank loved to buy sandwiches from and Connor was fine with, the fries were good. 

"But there's also Rebecca Sutter..." 

Frank waved him off, motioning Connor to give him a napkin, "The other suspect? I don't think Annalise will take her case… or care about it, really."

"Griffin is a rich fratboy, his parents give tons of money to the school, he is in the goddamn football team and other bunch of perfect rich boy stuff," he said bitterly, "Rebecca on the other hand, has no one."

"She will get a state attorney then," Frank shrugged, "Why do you care?"

Connor could say the truth, he was sure Frank would find out anyway, but he decided to go for a more subtle route, for the moment.

"O'Reilly is a liar," he began, "He most likely is the murderer and that other girl shouldn't take the blame."

"Oh, you so sure about that?" Connor nodded and Frank smirked in return, "What did you do?"

"The news go on and on about how much Griffin loved Lila and blah, blah, blah, they also remark their virginity pack and all that bullshit, Griffin is laying off his teeth," Connor smirked, "He wouldn't get Lila into bed but got daddy to pay him a weekend off with his 'friends' but only took one person and got his cock suck by a pro."

Frank tried to contain his laughter and failed, Connor just looked pleased with himself.

"Oh, you cocky slut," he took another bite of his sandwich while Connor pulled off his phone and showed him a few pictures of that weekend, "Fine, boy lied about his precious virginity, that doesn't make him a murderer."

Connor locked his phone, looking annoyed, "I know."

Frank eyed him suspiciously, "You're not telling me everything," he pointed out, "Come on, spit it out."

"I know her," Connor mumbled, "And I know she didn't do it."

The other man gave him a hard look, tossing the napkins to the garbage while Connor stared at his fries, uninterested. 

\----------

Oliver considered himself a fairly reasonable person.

To be an IT Expert, you have to be very reasonable, because you deal with timelines and quality assurance as well with the human factor; that more often than not is the reason everything goes to hell and makes people run around like headless chickens. Setting up a very complicated set of servers along with the proper wiring and port codification was a tedious task but could be done within a timeline... completing such task when an idiot poured coffee into the main server causing it to burst into literal flames? Not so much.

He was the kind of person who liked to do things the right way, which made him smart in most people's understanding. So, being a smart, reasonable person it was logical of him to end a potentially disastrous relationship with someone who sell his body as a way of living, he shouldn't feel bad about it.

Except, he did feel bad, he felt terrible. Because Oliver was smart but he also could be very stupid sometimes. 

Connor was... something he was still trying to figure out. Right now the younger man was a constant present in his mind that just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried to not think about him, his smile will come back and even so his haunting sad face. Oliver felt bad he was the cause of such broken expression; it really made him feel like the bad guy.

So… Connor was a prostitute. That alone was a really heavy thought to process, but he couldn’t judge him, could he? Oliver had no idea why Connor chose such "activity" as his job. That was something they never talked about. 

Maybe that was the problem, the no talking part. 

It was a bit hard to fix when he had thrown him out of his apartment in a fit of anger upon discovering him not-exactly-cheating on him. Connor couldn't cheat on Oliver if he was just doing his job, right?

His head hurt, thinking about the technical side of Connor's actions was very difficult when his heart was screaming for him to get him back in his life, because he had never been happier with someone and that thought scared him. 

Was Connor worth it? 

He wanted to find out, but first he would need to look for Connor and do some groveling, then request explanations and talks. Maybe if Connor didn’t want him back after what happen then he wouldn’t have to worry about making a plan then. 

Oliver sent him a text message and got a reply an hour later with an address but nothing else. 

Well, at least Connor wasn't ignoring him. 

\----------

The first thing Oliver encountered once Connor opened the door to let him into his apartment was a small, bouncy fluff ball. The dog had taken upon the task of protecting Connor, or at least it seemed as if, because it wouldn't stop bouncing around him and barking in a high pitched sound. 

"It's ok Pepper, go play..." Connor said in a hoarse voice that made Oliver worry, "Off you go."

He threw a plush ball to the other side of the living room and the tiny dog follow it, the awkward silence came after that. Connor moved to the living room, sitting in one side of the couch and crossing his arms, looking very uncomfortable. Oliver sat at the other side of the couch, unsure if he was even allowed. 

"I just..." Oliver bit his lower lip, Connor was avoiding his eyes, "I'm sorry, I... really don't know what to say."

The younger man glared at him, "Are you apologizing for throwing me out after finding out I'm a hooker or because you came here and now don't know what to say?"

The blunt comment made Oliver sallow.

"For throwing you out," he said as firmly as he managed, "Just… try to understand! I saw a video where you were sucking off my boss, I wasn't expecting it!"

Connor narrowed his eyes, "And you came here for... what exactly?"

Oliver moved closer to Connor and the younger man folded his arms over his chest, looking at him with distrust.

"To apologize," he said, "To ask for another chance... I made a mistake... I discovered something about you and made a judgment too quickly... I shouldn't have done that."

Connor sites there, looking at him with a strange look in his eyes, as if he is trying to figure out if Oliver is messing up with him, looking out for deception.

"I like you, Oliver," He finally said, looking flustered about it, "And I'm mad at you but not surprised... how can I be surprised? You’re a good person and I'm... not."

He looked away and Oliver could almost touch the tension between them, but over that was the deep disappointment in Connor’s voice, he was not even blaming Oliver, who technically was to blame anyway, so the so he was confused at seeing Connor in such state. 

“I like you, Connor,” he said, “No, that’s not right… I more than like you.” 

It was a confession and an admission at the same time. Oliver pressed the heels of his palms over his eyes while Connor sat there, stunned by a confession he was honestly not expecting. The silence between them grew longer and stronger and Oliver felt a little afraid of looking at the younger man. 

“My father wanted me to marry the daughter of one of his business partners,” Connor’s voice was calm, but when Oliver looked up noticed his eyes were narrowed, glaring at some point in the room, while Connor thought of other time and place, “Can you believe that? An arranged marriage in this day and age, honestly…”

“But… but you are—“

“Gay,” Connor pointed out, “Yes, he didn’t care,” Connor huffed, looking as he was about to laugh because if he didn’t he would end up screaming, “And she… the girl that I was suppose to marry… she hated my guts!… She was angry for with the situation, feeling like she was being sold and she blamed me for it while I blamed her for the whole mess as well.”

Oliver frowned and Connor finally looked at him, looking sad but satisfied at the same time. 

“What did you do?”

“I got very drunk and fucked everyone so much smiled at me… and let her film everything,” he sighed, looking away with a slight blush of embarrassment, “She presented the video as evidence that she could not marry with someone that didn’t want her and humiliated with his behavior as I was doing… her family agreed.” 

Oliver moved closer, sitting besides Connor on the couch and the younger man didn’t protested. He looked lost in his thoughts while Oliver tried to reach him. 

“Connor?” the younger man blinked, looking at him with blurry eyes, “What happened after that?”

He smiled. It was a broken, sad smile, “My father didn’t take it well.”

Connor’s body shock with a sob and Oliver was holding him the send it happened, acting without thinking, but when Connor wrapped his arms around him he knew it was the right thing to do. 

\----------

It had hurt to be abandoned, more than he can describe with words… but if he had to chose, he would do it everything the same way all over again in a heartbeat. 

Connor couldn’t miss the home he didn’t have… However, he could miss the feeling of having it. But when Oliver came to him, holding him as he did, the feeling was alike of that of going home. 

It was nice.


End file.
